CorpGoth Status Report: Hair

I've never considered my hair to be one of my better features. It just doesn't do what I want. My hair has been either straight or wavy, never outright curly but often frizzy. I was born with super-dark, almost naturally black hair, and I've colored every shade of red, pink, and purple you can get into hair that dark. Of course, I've dyed my hair jet black mostly since that's the easiest shade to maintain. I've always worn my hair to at least shoulder length and usually longer, and any deviation has been horrible. My hair and I have maintained a state of somewhat peaceful coexistence over the years; I try not to abuse it too severely, and it tries not to make me look too terrible in photographs.

February 2013

So the prospect of losing all my hair during chemo didn't seem like that big of a deal at first. Since I've never been particularly happy with my hair, if it has to go, it goes. And it'll just grow back, it always does, no matter what it suffers.

Thus, in September 2013, during my first round of chemo for breast cancer, all my hair fell out. That was not particular traumatic, especially in light of all the other millions of ways I felt terrible because of chemo.

September 2013

After a while though, I started to feel ugly and old without hair. I could only get that glamorized "bald is beautiful" look if I put on a ton of makeup and wore earrings. When I woke up in the morning and looked in the bathroom mirror, a weird little old man looked back at me. I didn't recognize myself.

Of course, I wore hats and wigs, I'd stocked up in advance. The best was my punky pink-streaked wig that even my most conservative office finally accepted.

June 2014

But as my own hair grew back, wearing a wig became hot and itchy, especially through summer. Finally, in August 2014, my hair was long enough to not look horrific IMO at work without a wig.

August 2014

Growing out my hair from absolutely nothing to mid-back length is going to take longer than I realized. That's been pretty damn depressing and frustrating at times. My hair today is still shorter than I've ever cut it on purpose (aside from shaving one side or the back during college; even then, I always left part of it long). The texture is the cliche "chemo curls" -- coarser and frizzier than it used to be. Sometimes, with a whole lot of hair products, I can get this to look like I have genuinely curly hair (as I did for Halloween 2014 when I dressed up as Betty Boop). But most days, I try to tame the frizz into waves or straight hair.

May 2015

I guess my hair is as long as a ragged pixie cut now. It's not long enough to be a bob yet. I haven't gotten a haircut since it fell out -- I'm waiting for a little more growth so I can get a cut with some sort of style. Not that I have any clue how this could be styled. That's been my problem, I can't figure out how to style short hair. There's not much to work with.

I still don't really see me when I look in the mirror. My face is in there somewhere, but I don't look right. Someday *sigh*

Want to share a status report for May about hair?

1. Post to your blog between Monday, May 18 to Wednesday, May 20.
   
2. Include the following code in your post so the This Is CorpGoth Mid-Month Status Report graphic will display (if you're using Blogger or WordPress, switch to the 'HTML post' setting & then paste this code in):
   
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A Meme About the Bod

1a. Do you generally feel good-looking? (or sexy or handsome or beautiful or something good?)
Generally, yes. Especially on weekdays because I put care and thought into my work wardrobe (even tho' few people see me at the office!). Presenting a polished, professional-yet-artsy image is important to me. Then again, at home and on the weekends, I'm a total slob. Basically, my looks are tied to my clothes more than anything else.

1b. When do you feel good? Do particular things trigger that feeling?
It's all about the clothes! If I have a great outfit, things that go well together and easily (nothing pulling or fussy, everything flattering my shape), hair done, makeup, accessories, cool shoes, then I feel good in the looks dept.

2a. Do you often feel unattractive? (or ugly or something bad?)
When I'm schlumpy -- wearing frumpy clothes, hair is not behaving, no lipstick. I have to really love you if I let you see me like that!

2b. When do you feel bad? Do particular things trigger that feeling?
Random physical aches and pains (hi, 40s, fuck you very much), added to my long-term migraines, get me really irritated with my body. What triggers bad feelings? Stress, having to be too much of an adult, lack of sleep, nothing special.

3. What do you like about your body? (Examples: strength, abilities, the look of a particular body part)
My brain, of course! My hands, both what they can do and they look pretty neat. I think I have a particularly attractive chest, not just boobs, but the neck and decollete area. I love dresses and tops that show this off.

4. What don't you like about your body? (appearance or other aspects)
That I have to wear glasses and that contacts are all-but useless on me. Migraine brain. Face still gets acne like crazy. Frizzy hair that's still short. Weight fluctuations.

5. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Never! I've only had my body cut into for repairs, not enhancements. Don't even like the idea of LASIK -- I've heard horror stories, and why take chances on something that is not absolutely crucial to health?

6a. What would you realistically change about your body?
Keep dying those greys! And if I could actually drop 10lbs, that might be nice -- but it's not something I'm particularly working on.

6b. What would you unrealistically change about your body?
Be able to see properly without glasses. No migraines ever again. For cancer to definitely, positively, absolutely not come back.

7. Do you think you treat your body well?
Not so much. I am not a "body" person -- I'm very cerebral. Focusing on my body is difficult.

8. Do you think your body treats you well?
Nope. We are often at odds.

9. What kind of relationship do you have with your looks? With your body?
I might over-inflate my looks. I often think I'm super hot stuff -- I was especially like that when I was single. I was of the opinion that I could get any guy or gal I wanted, so I always tried. Came in handy sometimes, caused disappointment other times. As an old married lady, I'm less over-confident in that way, but I've done similar things when shopping. I'll grab inappropriate clothing, get into the dressing room, and am  bitterly disappointed when the item looks horrible on me.

10. Do you think the world sees you the same way you see yourself?
I can't really tell. Sometimes I think people are impressed by me and other times I think I'm a complete wallflower. I don't think I photograph well -- I can feel great and look in the mirror and think I look great, and then I see photos from that day and I look awful. So I wonder if that's how people really see me. Weird.


What I'm wearing: Grey knit dress, bought in London | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Silver-grey wedges, Anne Klein | Black & purple scissor medallion necklace, gift from Lisa | Silver & purple crystal earrings, gift from Lisa

Window Shopping

This probably frustrates ecommerce websites, but I love to stick things in online shopping carts and let them stay there for as long as possible, as long as the website will remember it, until I'm good and ready to buy. Days or weeks or a month ideally.

Amazon.com is the best for this. I always have a few things just sitting there, waiting. I'll add more things, remove others. I may buy nothing for months, then buy everything in the cart. Or I'll clear it all out and start over again. It's better than Pinterest because nobody can see and I don't have to setup a private board, plus I can tally up actual prices so I know how much it would cost if I were to buy.

Right now, I'm looking at a window-ledge seat thing for my kittens, some sewing accessories, and a folding table to use at SCA events. Boring practical stuff, but things I've been meaning to get for a while. Not sure if or when I'll buy any or all of them.

What are you window shopping for?


What I'm wearing: Pink print cardigan, Chadwicks | Black jeweled T-shirt, Macy's | Corduroy skirt, H&M | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black ankle boots, Aldo | Pink & grey pearl necklace, Designs by Salamanca | Skull earrings, Walgreens

CorpGoth Status Report: Hair

Subject: How do you style your hair for the workday? Do you have a go-to 'do in the mornings? Are you required to tone it down for your office or does anything go in terms of color and cut? Share pix of your hairstyle or even give a tutorial in this month's report.

Due Date: Monday, May 18 to Wednesday, May20

How to File Your Report:

1. Post to your blog on or around the due dates.

2. Include the following code in your post so the This Is CorpGoth Mid-Month Status Report graphic will display (if you're using Blogger or WordPress, switch to the 'HTML post' setting & then paste this code in):

<a href="http://corpgoth.blogspot.com/search/label/corpgoth%20status%20report"><img border="0" src="http://www.trystancraft.com/corpgoth/corpgothstatusreport.jpg" /></a>

3. Comment on my Monday the 16th post including your blog link.

4. Read everyone else's reports via their links in the comments!

Playing Catch Up

Yikes, three weeks since posting here! Sorry about that. Since returning from my husband's and my anniversary trip last month, it's been nonstop busy, and while I've been online, this blog has been last priority. Of course, the trip was fantastic -- our fourth time to Jamaica, at the same resort where we honeymooned. Perfectly relaxing! TropiGoth FTW!

My blogging activity these days has been at Frock Flicks, where we're totally wrapped up in the PBS Masterpiece / BBC series "Wolf Hall," a new take on Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn through the eyes of Thomas Cromwell. It is FANTASTIC! We've podcasted about it and have a series of articles (with more coming). I'm also watching a ton of newer series to blog about, including some gothic horror shows in Victorian settings, such as "Penny Dreadful" and "The Lizzie Borden Chronicles." Watch for reviews coming soon.

My free time has also been filled by performing with Bella Donna Historical Performers. We participated at the San Jose Fantasy Faire as pretty pretty princesses -- where I ran into the 10th Doctor and Chewbacca, which was a hoot.

This weekend, we're on stage at a brand-new event, Carnevale Fantastico, and I'm on stage as an evil queen (typecasting the goth? hah!). I have a great time with these folks, and I'm very excited about this Italian Renaissance-themed event.

I do have some CorpGoth outfits waiting to be blogged, so I'll try to get back on track. And hopefully next month, I'll have a CorpGoth Status Report theme too, if anyone's still hanging around with me!

Wednesday Wondering: Teach Your Children Well

Prompt: What's the most important thing your parents or guardians taught you as a child?
Self-reliance. Independence. My mother was a single mom, and both directly and through example, she taught me to be independent and to take care of myself. Whether it was something as simple as doing the laundry or as complicated as finding a paying job, if I asked her "how do I do this?" her first reaction would be "have you tried? did you take a look for yourself?" She'd give me help and instructions, but she would not do it for me. She taught me to figure things out for myself and not rely on someone else. This is the single most valuable ability I gained growing up. I may not be able to do everything for myself, but I can try.

She also taught me to sew, which is pretty cool :) Not as important on a day-to-day basis, but it got me into costuming, through which I've made many great friends. My mom is awesome, and I learned a lot from her!


Questions culled from the discontinued Writer's Block feature on LiveJournal.

What I'm wearing: Black ruffled blouse, thrift store | Grey striped skirt, Nordstrom | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Purple suede pumps, Aerosoles | Silver & purple crystal earrings, gift from lisa

From Lingerie to Utility Devices

I feel like there's a certain point, probably age 40, when I officially joined the Old Lady Club. I needed new bras, and let me tell you young 'uns, buying bras when you're older is not half so entertaining as buying them when you're all cute and perky. Lordy, the only thing "perky" about me these days is that I wear a fair amount of pink and sometimes don a tiara when downing Cosmos.

Luckily, Macy's had a big sale: Buy two of most major brands and get two free. Score! I've resigned myself to going to the big department stores in order to acquire the amount of integrity I need in my lingerie. Victoria's Secret won't do it either -- those are just party bras. My husband occasionally gives me a gift certificate for there, and I'll buy some bras which fit but are simply not everyday wear.

I have to admit that the most comfortable bra I found at Macy's had the slightly depressing tag that read, in big, bold letters: "age-defying lift." Thanks for the reminder. And all the ones I found that fit and did anything complimentary were, uh, hard-shell bras. I couldn't find a single soft-sided bra in my size.

When I was a kid, one of my chores was to sort & fold everyone's laundry in the house. I remember looking at my mom's bras & wondering why they had those wires & padding. Not like "uplift" padding (this was the '70s, waaaaay before the WonderBra era), just the "full-coverage" padding. I figured I'd never wear stuff like that. Yet here I am. I think it's just what happens *shrug*

What I'm wearing:  Black lace-topped T-shirt, H&M | Pink & white skirt, made by Donna | Black ruffled shrug sweater, Kohl's | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black flats, Aerosoles | Pink filigree earrings, Etsy | Black elastic belt, NY & Company