Monday, May 18, 2015

CorpGoth Status Report: Hair

I've never considered my hair to be one of my better features. It just doesn't do what I want. My hair has been either straight or wavy, never outright curly but often frizzy. I was born with super-dark, almost naturally black hair, and I've colored every shade of red, pink, and purple you can get into hair that dark. Of course, I've dyed my hair jet black mostly since that's the easiest shade to maintain. I've always worn my hair to at least shoulder length and usually longer, and any deviation has been horrible. My hair and I have maintained a state of somewhat peaceful coexistence over the years; I try not to abuse it too severely, and it tries not to make me look too terrible in photographs.

February 2013
So the prospect of losing all my hair during chemo didn't seem like that big of a deal at first. Since I've never been particularly happy with my hair, if it has to go, it goes. And it'll just grow back, it always does, no matter what it suffers.

Thus, in September 2013, during my first round of chemo for breast cancer, all my hair fell out. That was not particular traumatic, especially in light of all the other millions of ways I felt terrible because of chemo.

September 2013
After a while though, I started to feel ugly and old without hair. I could only get that glamorized "bald is beautiful" look if I put on a ton of makeup and wore earrings. When I woke up in the morning and looked in the bathroom mirror, a weird little old man looked back at me. I didn't recognize myself.

Of course, I wore hats and wigs, I'd stocked up in advance. The best was my punky pink-streaked wig that even my most conservative office finally accepted.

June 2014
But as my own hair grew back, wearing a wig became hot and itchy, especially through summer. Finally, in August 2014, my hair was long enough to not look horrific IMO at work without a wig.

August 2014
Growing out my hair from absolutely nothing to mid-back length is going to take longer than I realized. That's been pretty damn depressing and frustrating at times. My hair today is still shorter than I've ever cut it on purpose (aside from shaving one side or the back during college; even then, I always left part of it long). The texture is the cliche "chemo curls" -- coarser and frizzier than it used to be. Sometimes, with a whole lot of hair products, I can get this to look like I have genuinely curly hair (as I did for Halloween 2014 when I dressed up as Betty Boop). But most days, I try to tame the frizz into waves or straight hair.

May 2015
I guess my hair is as long as a ragged pixie cut now. It's not long enough to be a bob yet. I haven't gotten a haircut since it fell out -- I'm waiting for a little more growth so I can get a cut with some sort of style. Not that I have any clue how this could be styled. That's been my problem, I can't figure out how to style short hair. There's not much to work with.

I still don't really see me when I look in the mirror. My face is in there somewhere, but I don't look right. Someday *sigh*

Want to share a status report for May about hair?
  1. Post to your blog between Monday, May 18 to Wednesday, May 20.
  2. Include the following code in your post so the This Is CorpGoth Mid-Month Status Report graphic will display (if you're using Blogger or WordPress, switch to the 'HTML post' setting & then paste this code in):

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  3.  Comment on below including your blog link.
  4.  Read everyone else's reports via their links in the comments!

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