Missed Red & Black Week

I looked at this outfit in the mirror and thought, dang, why haven't I worn this for Red and Black Week? Really, I've had this sweater for years.

But then, that's the problem, the sweater. Red and Black Week tends to happen in the late spring, and this long-sleeve, mock-turtleneck sweater is just too warm to wear except for a few months of the year in temperate Northern California. Thus, it always misses out.

So consider this a one-off Red and Black.

What I'm wearing: Red sweater, Macy's | Black, white, & red stripe skirt, Kohl's | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black flats, Aerosoles | Black glass bead necklace with red Murano heart, made by me

Friday Five: I Wanna Rock & Roll All Night

1. What band has made the biggest impact in your life, and why?
Yes -- I can't explain it now, but growing up, the whole prog-rock artsy thing of their early music really gelled with me. It's the closest I've come to having a spiritual side, as otherwise I'm entirely atheist & find zero connection to gods, goddesses, yada yada yada in the sky. I even read Paramahansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi" because a footnote in it inspired Yes' gatefold double-album "Tales From Topographic Oceans," & that totally inspired my desire to visit India (which I did, decades later). I hardly ever listen to Yes now, in fact, I almost can't listen to it because it kind of hurts. I have to be in the right mindset to open my brain to that. It's weird, & like I said, hard to explain.

2. What album is the first you can remember purchasing yourself?
"Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles. Because it was my first "favorite" movie & I wanted the LP.

3. What concert stands out in your mind as the best you've ever seen?
Best full concert? Hmmm ... the "Sound & Vision" tour by David Bowie at Shoreline, 1990-91-ish, was pretty damn spectacular in every way. Full package. Also, Green Day performing the full "American Idiot" album at the Warfield, being filmed for something, a show that was announced 2 days before, was really kick-ass.

4. What concert stands out in your mind as the worst you've ever seen?
James. We went based on their one hit "Laid" & that was the only good song. Spent most of the show loitering at the bar until they played said song & then went home. Snoozy.

5. If you could create your dream band, what musicians would you choose? (they can be live or dead, it's a dream band)
Duh, I'd reunite the Beatles. A private concert for me, my Mom (who introduced to them, natch), & select friends. "Sgt. Pepper" era all the way.

Questions culled from The Friday Five on LiveJournal.

What I'm wearing: Black pinstripe dress, made by Donna | Burgundy peplum sweater, Anthropologie | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black lace & burgundy satin pumps, Rampage | Burgundy & bronze shield necklace, made by a local artist | Burgundy pearl earrings, Designs by Victoria

Musings About a Long-Past Paris Cafe

Years ago ... a late afternoon sitting in a café in the Marais, a rather trendy area, as evidenced by the increased amount of leather and hair gel. Waiters in crisp white shirts and formal vests leisurely bring coffee to the people who crowd the tiny row of sidewalk tables on this very narrow Medieval street. Pouty boys with collar-length locks walk by. Unconsciously elegant women pause at the bath goods shop across the way. Two elderly gentlemen in berets chat on the corner. Dyed-orange-haired scenesters on cell phones stride confidently to their next tryst or business meeting or to buy fresh bread for dinner.

Shiny brass letters on a 500-year-old stone wall proclaim "patissier" and promise sweet heaven inside. Walk past any boulangerie and you don't need a sign to know everything inside is no more than an hour old.

The woman with long frizzy hair in a beautifully tailored black jacket hands a ruby sweater over the counter at Feinturerie du Temple. The driver of Taxi Parisian bobs his head to music that's drowned out by the low rumble of too many cars crammed into the slim street. A beautiful man with shoulder-grazing curly black hair and a vivid red scarf tastes his sticky patissier purchase.

Across the street, behind us, a bored shop girl with a thick blonde ponytail flips through a fashion magazine, perhaps dreaming of her own pretty self on the runway. I know what makes a French woman or man truly beautiful -- it's the thick, dark eyelashes and mysterious narrow brows. They frame the eyes and add depth of expression. Mascara is wholly unnecessary for these natural beauties.

Older gentlemen are the finest dressed of all. Exquisitely tailored three-piece suits in charcoal or black with lush silk ties in peacock colors or cloud-like pastels, sharp and perfectly kempt leather dress shoes, a wool greatcoat, a jaunty scarf, sometimes even a dashing cane, for both support and effect.

Ancient arched doorways, thin streets between tall buildings that block out the March sun, tiny café tables with chairs brazenly facing the street, leather blazers, labret piercings, motorcycles and scooters everywhere, mussed ponytails on women, short Caesar cuts and sideburns on men, every other person leading a very pampered little dog on a leash (yes, there really are more poodles here), cell phones, baguettes, dark sunglasses, cigarettes at every lip and clouds of blue smoke.

Those were the streets of Paris.

--from A la Mode in the Marais District

What I'm wearing: Black, pink, grey & white print dress, made by Donna | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black pumps with silver buckles, Kenneth Cole | Silver & amethyst bat necklace, Jewels by Olivia | Garnet & pearl earrings, London National Museum

Renaissance Shoes & Velvet Punk

For a night out at the Meadery with my sweetie & friends, I wanted something comfortable but cute. The dress was a given -- nothing beats knit -- & then the shoes seemed appropriate given the crowd (my friend who designed these shoes would be there), plus these shoes are very comfortable.

I needed a sweater or light jacket since it was a cool evening, & my hand fell upon this oldie, a beat-up velveteen motorcycle-style jacket I've had for a million years, all decorated from my more more-obviously goth days, yet with a couple recent touches. Perfect!

What I'm wearing:
Black knit dress, Newport News
Black cable-patterned tights, unknown brand
Oxblood "Stratford" 16th-century shoes, designed by Francis Classe for American Duchess
Burgundy & gold shield necklace, local artisan
Pink & gold earrings, vintage
Black velveteen motorcycle-style jacket, International Male
Pins, various sources

Highly recommended, just order a half size up. They come in black too!

Favorite pins on jacket lapel

Sisters of Mercy, Depeche Mode, & my college sorority badge

Peace pin & Clan Ventrue from Vampire: the Masquerade (my Toreador pin is on a purse)

San Jose Sharks 10th anniversary pin

Symbolic charms I attached to a zipper pull

Malice on Monday

I'm not big on logo clothing or wearing other people's faces on myself. But ... this scarf called to me when I was at DisneyLand a month ago. C'mon, Maleficent! The evil fairy of "Sleeping Beauty" fame -- she's awesome! She's totally goth! And the scarf's design is gorgeous. I had to have it.

Do you wear logos or characters ever? If so, which ones tempt you?

What I'm wearing:
Black knit top, NY & Company | Grey corduroy skirt, Newport News | Black leather belt, Express | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black pointy kitten-heel shoes, Aldo | Maleficent scarf, DisneyLand | Silver & purple earrings, gift from Lisa | Silver Celtic knotwork ring, gift from Lisa

 

10 & 6

Dainty Dramatist Heel by ModCloth

These two links are totally different, but I want to share them anyway.

First, the super cool U.K. gothic clothing shop & blog Gothic Angel had a roundup of the 10 best gothic websites, & they included me! And I'm in good company with Sophistique Noir, Gothic Charm School, & Dark Side of the Net. True confession: I'm old friends with the proprietors of the later two sites, we know each other from way back when on usenet on alt.gothic.fashion & hung out together at net.goth Convergence gatherings. They're awesome people & do fabulous work!

Changing tone, I ran across this link on Facebook: 6 things you must have to have a perfect body. Wait for it ... this isn't what you might think. This article is a pretty clever subversion of the usual "perfect body" BS. Love this one.

Weekend RuPaul

I'm sure I've mentioned before how much I love RuPaul & drag queens in general. It takes balls for a man to dress up in high heels, a wig, & makeup in public. And Ru is the most outspoken of them all, with sassy quips that are awesome words to live by. My favourite quote of his is "We're all born naked, the rest is drag" -- which I've turned into a slogan for my costume site as, "We're all born naked, everything else is a costume." Same concept, meaning that clothes are an act of making up who we are, pretending to be something, mask making, presenting a carefully constructed face to the world. I think goths understand this idea intrinsically.

While that's my favorite RuPaul quote, I do love this T-shirt my sweetie got me for Christmas. The gold foil makes it very glam, & who doesn't need that?

What I'm wearing:
"Shantay, You Stay / Sashay Away" RuPaul's Drag Race T-shirt, gift from my husband
Black linen skirt, H&M
Black elastic belt, NY & Company
Black leggings with lace side panel, Torrid
Black socks, unknown brand
Black flats with wings, Plasticland.com
Black & gold medallion earrings, random accessory store
Silver bangles, random accessory store
Brown skull bracelet, gift from my mom
Silver Celtic knotwork ring gift from Lisa

When pop culture memes collide! Jabba the Hut at a local Star Wars themed bar.

Recent Reads

In the dearth of outfit posts during my lack of a decent camera, I thought I'd share some cool things I've read around the blogosphere recently...

LoL!

Offbeat Bride regularly has shoe posts that are pretty fabulous. This one about black shoes with bows is especially awesome, & I would wear over half of the listed shoes! Coincidentally, I already had that first pair of shoes pinned on my This Is CorpGoth Pinterest board several times...

Already Pretty addresses a reader question about comfy bras & loungewear. This got me thinking -- see, my work-from-home clothes have gotten very loungey & down-right sloppy recently. It started during chemo because I wasn't working, but the habit has continued. I'm embarrassed to admit that I spend a lot of time in yoga pants & T-shirts (another reason for fewer posts, ugh). I kind of want to clean out my wardrobe in an effort to force myself to stop wearing boring crap.

Wardrobe Oxygen had a great guest post about drugstore makeup faves. I'll have to try some of these. Do you prefer drugstore or department store makeup in general, or do you mix it up & wear some of each?

Done, Done, DONE!

Yesterday was my last day of radiation -- 33 treatments, all finished, after the 4 rounds of chemotherapy. You know what that means? I'm DONE with active treatment for cancer! Finished! I may need to take some medication for the next umpteen years, plus have regular check-ups & tests, but NO MORE poisoning or torturing my body on a regular basis to kill those nasty cancer cells. C'EST FINI!!!

I'm thrilled at this milestone. It feels like I've been in treatment for-freakin'-ever. Since last June when I first went to my doctor about that lump, I've been on a constant treadmill of doctor's appointments, all of which lead to increasingly unpleasant things to rid my body of the invader. Yes, my doctors & nurses have been excellent, & yes, their recommendations have been wise & necessary. But I'm incredibly happy to see the end of it.

Chemo sucked ass, & radiation has been fairly easy but not exactly fun. I'm guessing the future bits will be much milder. I may have said it before, but it bears repeating: I could not have made it through any of this without the constant support of all of YOU, my friends & community. My IRL friends & family have been awesome, but I was also buoyed by the stream of comments, emails, posts, cards, gifts, donations, & well-wishes from every one of you out there in the interwebs. Your support has helped keep me going when I've felt down, which has been a lot!

Cancer is mind-numbingly hard, & nobody can manage it alone. I am extremely grateful to have *not* been alone during this, thanks to you. I'm sorry if I didn't respond to everyone, but please know that your words, no matter how small, touched me & comforted me.

THANK YOU!!!

right after my final radiation

What I'm wearing:
Black & white stripe knit dress, Nordstrom
Black velvet jacket, White House Black Market
Black tights, Calvin Klein
Black flats, Aerosoles
Silver sugar skull earrings, random accessory store
Chanel "Vamp" lipstick
(Note: I'm still wearing wigs & hats on a regular basis, but I went 'topless' to celebrate last night!)
For treatment:
"Keep Calm & Fuck Cancer" T-shirt, CafePress
Black & white fleece hat, gift from Mom

With my mom, who has been awesome through all this.

With my husband, who's been a rock!

Obligatory selfie - hair is finally growing back.

A New Hat for the Holiday

On Christmas morning, my husband & I host our parents & his sister for brunch, & we all exchange handmade gifts. It's a casual gathering that lasts for a few hours. This year, I wore a new hat that I received at the Dickens Christmas Fair.

We had gone to that event on the previous Saturday, & I'd noticed one booth selling lovely, soft hats made of different types of velvet & satin. I looked around this shop, Chapeau Atelier, & found several hats I quite liked. However, I was wearing a big, Victorian-styled wig, & couldn't figure out what size hat would fit best -- I planned to wear the hat as everyday wear, since I'm still bald (just a tiny bit of five o' clock shadow fuzz coming in). I asked the proprietor if there was somewhere I could quickly take off my wig to try on the different hat sizes, & he very kindly let me go backstage & held a mirror for me.

When I picked out the hat I liked best in my size & took it to the register to pay, he said "no charge!" See, the shop owner is a cancer survivor too, & he regularly makes & donates hats for people who've gone through chemo. He considered this one of his donations. We had a great chat, & I was just totally gob-smacked.

So I wore that hat on Christmas Day.

What I'm wearing:
Burgundy & black velvet & satin hat, Chapeau Atelier
Rhinestone brooch, vintage, added by me to hat
Burgundy velvet dress, Macy's
Black leggings, American Apparel
Black socks, unknown brand
Black flats, Aerosoles
Burgundy crystal & silver bead necklace, gift from Mom
Black & silver earrings, random accessory store
Chanel "Vamp" lipstick

Thankful

I have a lot of people to thank this year. Firstly, of course, my husband, who has been with me every step of the way through this stupid cancer, as patient as he could be, putting up with me on my worst days. I'm also infinitely thankful for my mom & step-dad, my husband's dad & step-mom, his mom & step-dad, & our extended family, who've all been super-supportive in every way.

I'm incredibly thankful for my friends, both local & spread around the world. The ones nearby have kept my hubby & I fed with home-cooked dinners & dropped by with chocolate & visited when I felt up to it. Many have sent funny cards & cute trinkets that really, honestly brightened my days.

I'm also thankful for my wider community -- including everyone here who reads & comments on this blog & my costume site. I'm awed & humbled by the support you've shown, through your messages, cards, gifts, donations, & buying stuff from my garage sale. Cancer is dark & depressing, but hearing from each of you has helped me through this immeasurably. I'm sorry if I haven't replied to each of you, but please know that every email, every comment, every card, every donation, every way you reached out to me has meant a lot to me & truly helped me get through the long, tedious days of recovering from chemo treatments.

I have to call out people by name -- thanks to all who've donated, thank you Lisa, Loren, Mary, Michele, Maureen, Irina, Sandra, Cathy, Lynne, Lori, Lyndsay, Mary, Paula, Sharon, Stephani, Emily, Sharon, Deborah, Merja, Chris, Elisabethe, Heather, Jennifer, Katherine, Franny, Kendra, Molly, Rachel, Shawna, Nicole, Tony, Vera, Katherine, Maggie, Amy, David, Elizabeth, Historic Costume Patterns, C., Jean, Julie, Kathryn, Michelle, Aisha, Aubry, Jonatha, Agnes, Alexandra, Angela, Carly, Jennifer, Josie, Sarah, Susanna, Alison, Ann, Cassidy, Cat's Meow Textiles, G., Julia, Laura, Katie, & Maria. And thanks to everyone who sent meals, gifts, & cards, thank you Sarah, Cynthia, Travlyn, Maryanne, Joyce, Tish, Noel, Carole, Linda, Rhawnie, Elisa, Melissa, Sahyre, Maggie, Wendi, Kelly, Doris, Mark, Kendra, Francis, Deb, Emily, Margaret, Cathyn, John, Leia, Jen, Liz, Laina, Radar, Leia, Kat, Truly, Franny, Beth, & Patricia. I couldn't have made it this far without all of you behind me!

I'm thankful for my doctors too, glad that my primary doctor acted fast when I discovered a lump in my breast & very glad she referred me to such an excellent surgeon & oncologist. I'm thankful that each of my specialists took time & care to explain my options & all the parts of my treatment. I'm deeply thankful for all the nurses too, especially at my oncologist's office, where the nursing staff made the chemo treatments more bearable with kindness, gentleness, patience, & good humor. I may have sucky, expensive private insurance (until blessed ObamaCare takes over on January 1 :), but at least my medical professionals are top notch!

Lastly, I'm thankful that I'm two-thirds of the way finished with treatment, & what should be the hardest part is over. Radiation starts the first week of December & is supposed to have far fewer & more milder of side effects than chemo. And when *that* is over, we're going to DisneyLand to celebrate! So I'm thankful I can look forward to that too :)

What I'm wearing:
Black & burgundy wig, gift from Sarah
Burgundy peplum sweater, gift from Sarah
Black T-shirt, Target
Black & white stripe skirt, White House | Black Market
Black tights, Calvin Klein
Black leather boots, Clarks
Beaded necklace, gift from Lisa
Silver & black teardrop earrings, random accessory store

Old Bats, New Bat

In this casual weekend outfit, I'm wearing a lot of my standard, everyday bats. The T-shirt & leggings have shown up on this blog plenty of times before.

But the pendant is new, & it was a lovely gift from the lovely people at Beneath Glass, an Etsy shop full of jewelry with artsy, vintage, steampunk, geeky, & fun prints & sayings in cameos on necklaces, rings, & more. I'm so delighted with this Victorian bat necklace, & I hope you'll check out their beautiful goods. Not an ad here, just sharing the love!

What I'm wearing:
Grey bat T-shirt, Target
Black linen skirt, H&M
Black bat leggings, Target
Black socks, unknown brand
Black laced-toe flats, Miz Mooz
Bat pendant, Beneath Glass on Etsy
Silver & black teardrop earrings, random accessory store

Last Chemo Dance & Happy Halloween

Halloween Day was my last chemo treatment -- of course I was going to dress up! But I had some constraints, in that I couldn't wear long sleeves or tight upper sleeves because of the blood draw, blood pressure check, & the infusion itself. So I scoured my costume closet & realized I had this great big ballgown with a halter-style top. Luckily, it's pink & went with the pink ribbon "breast cancer" tiara I'd bought a few months earlier.

Many of the nurses at the clinic were dressed in costume, & everyone loved my "Drag Queen Cancer Princess" outfit. They even took a picture for their breakroom photo wall. And my husband documented the day & posted on Facebook.

Now, it's just a few weeks of side effects & recover, then I start radiation, which is much more targeted & supposed to have far more mild side effects -- so I can go back to work & hopefully have a more normal life again! Really looking forward to that.

What I'm wearing:
Pink silk dupioni 1950s-style ballgown, made by Donna | Full petticoat underneath, thriftstore | Black drag-queen wig, eBay | Pink ribbon tiara, Etsy | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black ribbon-tie pumps, Clark's | Black lace, pearl, & chain choker, bought at Convergence | Black with pink crystal earrings, random accessory store | Pewter woman symbol stud earring, bought on the street in Berkeley | Ying/yang stud earring, bought on the street in Berkeley | Pewter peace symbol earring, bought on the street in Berkeley | Black gloves, vintage | Black faux-fur cape (worn in treatment chair), vintage

Selfie on the ride to the clinic

Checking in at the office

Waiting with my sweetie, he's been there every step of the way!

Super cool medical assistant Jordan checking my vitals

My excellent oncologist Dr. Mann checks my progress

Sitting in the chair before getting the last infusion

Getting Batty on Round 3

For my third of four chemo rounds, I mixed old-school with new. Classic pointy boots with bat buckles and a big sweater woven with the word "BAT" on the front and "CAT" on the back. Not exactly work appropriate, but good for kicking it around on weekends & casual days.

What I'm Wearing:
BAT / CAT sweater, Forever 21 | Black knit skirt, Target | Black tights, Calvin Klein | Black leather boots with pewter bat buckles, swapped from a friend | Black & white stripe dangle earrings, Kohl's | Pewter woman symbol stud earring, bought on the street in Berkeley | Ying/yang stud earring, bought on the street in Berkeley | Pewter peace symbol earring, bought on the street in Berkeley | Black & pink wig, Miss Violet Lace

Added bonus: Rhinestone-crusted "Fight Like a Girl" travel mug, gift from The Professor. Thanks, sweetie!!!