Spirit Day

Goths often get bullied as teenagers because we dress different, we may be shy or introverted, we might not play sports or be into the same things as other kids, and we generally don't fit in with the mainstream. If you're the only kid at your school interested in goth fashion and music, you can feel awfully left out and isolated, and you're a ripe target for bullying.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender kids have it even worse in school. They can be the subject of intense and very cruel bullying. There is some overlap between LGBT teens and goths, of course, and picked-on kids may tend to hang out together for support.

In the past year, the suicides of LGBT kids due to bullying has gotten some much-needed media attention, and resulted in the It Gets Better Project. While primarily for an LGBT audience, the messages of hope and reminders that you can live through school-year bullying are relevant to all outcast teens.

Another response to these tragedies is Spirit Day, October 20, when everyone is encouraged to wear purple to show support for stopping bullying in schools. It's a small thing, and obviously it's best done in conjunction with giving time to a local group or donating to an organization like the Trevor Project.

My employer, Yahoo!, encouraged people to wear purple today at all our offices (you can see a photo on Y!'s Facebook page -- I'm in there somewhere ;-). This is our brand color, but also, Yahoo! has a long history of supporting LGBT issues. It's scored 100% on the Corporate Equality Index from the Human Rights Campaign for the past four years, and Yahoo! has supported many LGBT charities in the communities where we have offices.

I wore purple today both because I'm a Yahoo and to support awareness of bullying and the fight to stop it. I was picked on as a teenager because of my gothiness. I was also called "dyke" because I had a girlfriend. But I was lucky that my parents, teachers, and friends were supportive and encouraged me to be who I was. For kids who don't necessarily have family and friends behind them, I hope they find the Trevor Project, which is doing amazing work in supporting teens in trouble. I hope all kids will realize it does get better when they grown up.

What I'm wearing:
Purple top with leg o' mutton style sleeves, bought in London
Black velvet skirt with satin underskirt, Spiegel, gift from Lisa
Purple & black vertically striped tights, unknown brand
Black T-strap wedge heels, Kenneth Cole, thrifted
Black skull scarf, gift from my husband
Purple dangly earrings with bats painted on them, local artist
Purple lipstick, Make Up Forever Professional #14

Goth Challenge #9 - More Music

#9: What genre of music do you dislike?
(Continuing the Goth Challenge questions -- follow the tag below to see all.)  

I can honestly say there isn't an entire broad genre of music I dislike. There are subgenres I don't enjoy and plenty of artists I hate. But when it comes to things like country, rap, jazz, classical, sure, I like a little bit of each of them. There are bubblegum pop songs I dig. I will always karaoke to Patsy Cline's "Crazy." I will jump to the dancefloor if the DJ plays "Baby's Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-Lot.

But I'm not fond of speed metal, industrial, new country, acid jazz, & probably a few other things that I don't know what they're called.

My friends Lisa (left) & Francis (back) & my husband Thomas (front)
playing Renaissance music.

Mixing Metals

First off, goths tend to wear silver, so mixing metals isn't usually an issue. But some time ago, I realized I didn't mind so horribly wearing a touch of gold (my high-school prom notwithstanding ;-). As long a the gold has a soft, antiqued look, more of an old gold, I rather like it. And, admittedly, my wedding band is a mix of gold and white gold, not really sure how that happened.

So when I found this adorable jacket with big, brassy buttons, well, I didn't blink. Of course I bought it. Brass, gold, minimal difference. Brass tones have come into the goth world via steampunk these days, but I don't do much steampunk.

And wearing this jacket with a chunky silver necklace right near the gold buttons? Years ago, that would have been a mainstream fashion faux pas, not just a gothic no-no. HAH. I don't care.

What I'm wearing:
Black knit military-style jacket, Macy's
Black & grey knit dress, Coldwater Creek
Black tights, Calvin Klein
Black kitten-heel pumps with silver buckles, Payless Shoe Source
Chunky silver bead choker, Target
Square pewter earrings, local artist

What fashion 'rules' have you broken recently?

 

A Little Bit of Monday Shine

Oh what a weekend. Which started with our department's annual offsite on Friday -- in CorpSpeak, an "offisite" is an event where employees go somewhere away from the office for some kind of fun, presumably team-building activity that may also blow off some steam. Ideally it's a reward for hard work. Last year, our department went to a goat farm, which was both educational and tasty (mmmm.... goat cheese!). This year, we went to a place called the Crucible, and half the team did some kind of glass-fusing activity, and the half I was in did blacksmithing.

Yep, we worked with a furnace and hammered hot steel! It was crazy, intense work, seriously hard labor. My arm still aches a little from all the hammering. But we all did finish our projects -- we each made an iron hook in about 2 hours. What started out as square rod of metal became an elegantly twisted hook with a hole in one end.

Friday evening, I left from the blacksmithing for a weekend of portraying a lady of leisure with my friends, Bella Donna Venetian Courtesans at the Folsom Renaissance Faire. While I'm not a singer like these fine women, I've been acting at renfaires for 20+ years, so they welcomed me into the fold for this event, and we had a grand time. I used an old gown from my closet -- French, not quite Italian, but close enough to blend into their look. I hope someday to make a pretty Venetian gown.

But now it's Monday, back at work. Our department has move to a new building at the company, and I'm settling into a new and larger cubicle. Yay, I get to decorate! At some point, I'll try to get pix of my work environment. But for now, today's outfit.

What I'm wearing:
Dark grey denim jacket with belled sleeves, Newport News | Black T-shirt, NY & Company | Tiered plum velvet skirt, NY & Company | Pink rhinestone bib necklace, random accessory store | Black tights, unknown brand | Black patent square-toed pumps, second-hand| Pearl & garnet earrings, artisan at a convention

Oh & I kind of hate Blogger today. It ate a post I've been working on for MONTHS with my top tips for dressing goth at a casual workplace (because most 'wear to work' guides seem to be for environments where suits are the norm; I wanted to answer the question of 'how goth can / should you go if you want to still be considered a professional and yet fit into the casual office' -- tons of work, down the blog drain!!!! I guess I have to go old-school and write my posts in a Word doc and carry them around in a thumb-drive, instead of relying on The Cloud. Feh.).

Medieval CorpGoth Faux Tattoo

At an SCA event the weekend before last, I got a "Rat Tat." This is a silly little thing common around here -- there's a guy nicknamed Rat who does lovely calligraphy and has a taste for drawing on women's chests (with permission, of course). The lady chooses the words, he writes in medieval script. I've never done one because I couldn't think of anything that I wanted drawn across my chest (and let's just not get into any implications of the act -- it's all meant in harmless fun).

Until that weekend when a friend, who reads this blog and was complimenting it, suggested "CorpGoth" for a Rat Tat. Heh, well, that I could get into. And thus, I did. Not exactly work-appropriate!

Goth Challenge #8 - Non-Goths

#8: What's your worst and best experience with non-Goths?
(Continuing the Goth Challenge questions -- follow the tag below to see all.)  

Worst -- Haven't been many, but I do recall my grandmother picking on a coffin-shaped necklace I wore during a visit to see her, maybe a dozen years ago. Even tho' I was wearing a white T-shirt and blue-jean cutoff shorts. She zeroed in on the only goth thing on me at the time and criticized it. Sheesh.

Best -- All my friends. Offline, I don't associate with that many people who self-identify as goths. Not on purpose, but "goth" isn't the first or main thing I look for in a potential friend. My friends have no issues with my style, it's just part of me that they love because they're my friends. That's why we're, y'know, friends!

My pretty pretty princess, non-goth, BFFs.

Goth Challenge #5, #6, & #7 - Music Matters

(Continuing the Goth Challenge questions -- follow the tag below to see all.)  I'm combining these because I don't think I have enough content in either one...

#5: Is there a local Goth band or group in your area?

Hah! There isn't even a goth club anymore. Downtown San Jose used to have a fun little goth night on Thursdays called Backlash in the mid-1990s, but it's long gone.

Not that I care much. I'm not really interested in going to clubs or seeing live music anymore. Not my thing -- I'm an old lady and far happier hanging out with friends at my house or theirs, where we can drink not-overpriced cocktails and actually hear each other talk.

#6: Handwrite your favourite lyric and take a picture.

Uh... sorry, I can't think of a fave lyric!

#7: Ten of your favourite goth bands.

1. The Cure
2. Sisters of Mercy
3. Love and Rockets
4. The Smiths
5. Siouxie and the Banshees
6. Bauhaus
7. The Mission
8. Dead Can Dance

That's as far as I get! In goth music, I don't like much made past 1990. And I didn't think it would be fare to start listing out special projects like The Sisterhood, Tones on Tail, or The Creatures, just to pad the list, not when I already have the main parts of the bands there (note: listing both Love and Rockets *and* Bauhaus is ok, imo, because their music is significantly different).

And no quibbles, please, about The Smiths -- the music is so freaking dark, at least lyrically, that it's goth in my book! Also, see Goth Challenge Day 1 to see how it was a influence on my BabyBat days.